Thursday 30 April 2009

Poll Results - Number 1

Should Ian Bell play in the first test?

Yes, of course 0 (0%)
No, you idiot 20 (66%)
Only if he wears high heals10 (33%)
Who is Ian Bell? 0 (0%)

Bell end?


The England selectors have left batsmen Owais Shah, Ian Bell and Michael Vaughan and fast bowler Steve Harmison out of the squad for the first Test against West Indies at Lord's.

The impact of this bold approach means that erstwhile number 6 and 20/20 slogger Ravi Bopara is set to take on the vital number three role. Something that should fill any England supporters heart with a small amount of concern. Bell was intriguingly overlooked despite clattering a couple of early season centuries, suggesting that England really do have concerns about him. Former skipper and “saviour of English cricket”™ Vaughan had only managed to notch runs in a 50 over game and selectors are looking for him to make a couple of big scores. The problem is that Vaughan’s test average is far superior to his county average and not unlike previous England number 3 David Gower he quite obviously relishes the big match atmosphere of the Test arena, rather than the humdrum task of smashing county bowlers to all parts of the ground.

In addition uncapped seamers Tim Bresnan and Graham Onions are surprise inclusions and they should provide adequate support for James Anderson and Stuart Broad. However, their selection highlights the very real need to get FF and Sidebottom back in the side. Fortunately England have resisted calling up Saj Mahmood and Matthew Hoggard which even in reliable old, shaggy old Hoggard’s case would have been a retrograde step.

Chairman of selectors Geoff Miller exclaimed: "This is very exciting for the two young fast bowlers to be included in the squad for a Lord's Test match and sends a message to all county players that if they put in consistently good performances they will get recognised. They have earned their place in the party."

Elsewhere in the squad Matt Prior keeps his place as wicketkeeper and is likely to bat at six at Lord's, which given Sussex’s use of him as an opener or number 4 will not be a stretch for the bald stumper. Chris Broad’s son or possibly newcomer Bresnan, who has hit three first-class centuries, will therefore be going in at number seven.

Monty ‘Monty’ Panesar and Graeme Swann are both in the squad but only one is likely to play in the first Test, with Swann appearing quite clearly to be in pole position. He was England's leading wicket-taker in the series in the West Indies earlier this year, with 19 victims at a very impressive cost of only 24 runs each. Despite the facts staring him in the eyes the lugubrious Miller stated: "We know where we stand, it was proven in the West Indies, but there's not a number one England spinner." A statement that could be read one of three ways 1) a reminder to Swann to keep on the straight and narrow, 2) a subtle arm around Monty ‘Monty’ or 3) he is already modelling his tenure in the Chairman’s role on Lord Ted Dexter.

England squad: Andrew Strauss (capt), James Anderson, Ravi Bopara, Tim Bresnan, Chris Broad’s son, Paul Collingwood, Alastair Cook, Graham Onions, Monty ‘Monty’ Panesar, Kevin Pietersen, Matt Prior, Graeme Swann.

Jardine’s Verdict: Bold moves on the bowling front highlight paucity of options. Bopara at number three? Surely just keeping the number 3 spot warm for Vaughany. Who only needs to hit a couple square of the wicket to get the Ashes call up!

Wednesday 29 April 2009

Younis Khan states the obvious

Pakistan captain Younis Khan has blamed the Australians for unnecessarily creating issues while playing against India and Pakistan after teammate Saeed Ajmal was reported for his bowling action during the second ODI in Dubai on April 24 which he had suggested resulted from a complaint by Australian all-rounder Shane Watson to the umpires.

Younis said controversies reared up whenever Australia play sub-continental sides and wondered what was wrong in Ajmal bowling a 'doosra', which seemingly raised the ire of the rather precious Aussies.

Younis said "This is always happening with India and Pakistan and Australia, Why do we create all the time controversies? Why? It's a fair game, you know," he mused. Younis stressed it was simply a matter of Ajmal bowling a quicker ball, and not cheating. "You're talking about the doosra, 'Why he bowl doosra?' "Why (shouldn't Ajmal) bowl doosra? Because this is an art and especially Pakistanis and Indians they have the art, so why (should it) not be allowed?" Younis was quoted as saying by the normally one-eyed Australian Associated Press.

Younis pointed to a previous report laid over the faster ball of Pakistan leg-spinner Shahid Afridi. "We're not cheating actually, sometimes they ask you why should you bowl very fast and then they say why should Afridi bowl a ball suddenly at 140kph? "We're not cheating actually, I think that's the beauty of cricket," said Younis. Australia captain Michael ‘Call me Skipper’ Clarke tried to play down the controversy, saying that Watson hadn't made a specific complain to umpires about Ajmal's action. "Watto certainly didn't go to the umpires and say a word, none of our players have approached the umpires and spoken about it," Clarke said. That sentence in itself covers a multitude of sins. Whislt no players directly approached the umpires it is very easy (as any fule kno’) to have a robust conversation with teammates that may possibly be overheard by the Umpires.

Michael ‘I’m a bit of a star me’ Clarke continued, "I think Watto was pretty upset with the shot he played and getting out. He's been in really good nick the whole tour and I think he's been a little bit disappointed he hasn't made as many runs as he would have liked,". All the more reason to accuse the bowler of chucking then?

The stand in Aussie skipper (sorry that should read Michael 'I have a celebrity girlfriend' Clarke said they would concentrate on the game and leave the legalities to International Cricket Council to sort out. Having of course used their typical brand of ‘psychological warfare’ or dissent as it is known in other games, to useful effect.

Jardine Verdict: Far be it for me to imply the reason that players from the sub-continent are continually targeted by Australian players is anything other than pure coincidence… However, we can expect this one to run and run.

Saturday 25 April 2009

Yabba-dabba-don't tell me he is injured again!


England all-rounder Fred Flintstone has returned to England from the IPL to undergo surgery on his right knee after dropping a boulder on it, no doubt.

He is expected to be out of action for three to five weeks (which in Fred speak is usually followed by a hamstring pull, a calf problem and then his ankle will go – so three months!)

The injury prone 31-year-old will miss the two-Test series against West Indies, which starts at Lord's on 6 May. He is expected to be fit for the ICC World Twenty20 in June (when he will no doubt slip a disk getting into a sponsored car) and the Ashes series against Australia which he will commentate on for Sky.

I can’t even bring myself to write the "I told you so" paragraph that should follow this thoroughly disappointing news.

So, instead contend yourself with looking at the catalogue of disasters that makes up a third of Andrew Flintoff’s (no relation) test career…

FLINTOFF'S MISERY
1999 Returned early from South Africa with broken foot
2000 Back injury ended Pakistan tour
2002 Hernia operation and then returns from Ashes tour with groin problem
2003 Missed Zimbabwe series with shoulder injury
2005 Ankle surgery in January
2006 Out for 12 weeks after ankle surgery
2007 More surgery to left ankle
2008 Missed series in New Zealand because of side strain
2007 Missed part of Test and one-day series in West Indies because of hip injury
2009 Missed home Test series against West Indies because of knee injury picked up chasing the cash in 20/20 thrash.

Jardine's Verdict: It could (only could mind) be a blessing in disguise. But the reality is more likely to be that the one area we truly dominate Australia, namely in having a quality all-rounder has been blown out of the water. Time to give Daffy Defreitas a call. Well, he is at least better than Andrew Symonds!

Friday 24 April 2009

IPL 2 - The Sequel

What to make of it? What’s going on?

Rajasthan Royals, Kings XI Punjab, Mumbai Indians, Kolkata Knight Riders? Hang on a minute - Rewind; Kings & Royals? Yes, I suppose so. Indians? Natch. Knight Riders? What? Is Hasselhoff opening the bowling? Talking ‘kit’? Oh, I know it is easy pickings, pure JM96* fodder but surely somebody could have come up with something better. It’s done now, no use crying over it…

So, this is NEW cricket, 20/20, the world’s best sloggers versus the world’s best dibby-dobby bowlers.

How does it stack up? Better than the first series? Or too early to tell? Most probably the latter but the issue is that given the fleeting appearances of a number of the main performers (that damn pesky Test Match thing is getting in the way) it won’t be until after Freddie, KP, Chris Gayle et al head off, that the true quality of the tournament will reveal itself with a smattering of retired Aussies and Brendan McCullum rubbing shoulders with the Indian World Twenty20 champions.

The most entertaining aspect of the tournament so far has been Shane Warne (ex-Test Cricketer and Coach of Jaipur) stating that international/test players don’t need a coach. Unless of course they are playing IPL when remarkably they do! http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0%2C21985%2C23294086-2882%2C00.html

Jardine’s Verdict: IPL2 – Some great cricketers, making a shed load of cash from relatively competitive games but… do we really want to see Matthew Hayden pumping up his ample bosom?

Thursday 23 April 2009

World Twenty20

Kent skipper Blob Key, is remarkably in the running to become England's captain for the ICC World Twenty20, will lead the Lions again, as he did last summer and during the winter on their tour of New Zealand.

A number of Kent fans that I know swear by Key but I can’t help but feel last seasons failures (Lost Cup final and relegation from Div 1 must offset some of the enthusiasm). Also can he really justify his place in the side as a batsman? Destructive with the willow he well may be but surely his fielding is a major barrier to inclusion.

Jardine's verdict: Are you mad?

England Lions - The rest of the squad

Kent's Blob Key will skipper the side, which includes seven internationals.
Stumper Tim Ambrose, seam duo Sajid Mahmood & Liam Plunkett, Warwicks bat Jonathan Trott and Sussex all-rounder Luke Wright (who really must start to deliver on his undoubted talent) are all due to take part in the four-day game against the tourists on Thursday at Derby.

Interestingly Notts all-rounder Samit ‘Tubs’ Patel is also selected. Tubs was dropped for England's one-day series in the West Indies for "failing to reach acceptable standards of fitness for international cricket". That in itself is a truly remarkable achievement when you consider that the following players have all graced the international stage without booking into their local Fitness First; Eddie Hemmings, Sir Ian Terence Botham, Mike Gatting, Ian Gould, Blob Key, Sir Andrew Flintoff (in the old days) & Mike Gatting (well, he was twice as fat as everyone else!).

England Lions team: Rob Key (Kent, capt), Tim Ambrose (Warwickshire, wkt), Ian Bell (Warwickshire), Sajid Mahmood (Lancashire), Stephen Moore (Worcestershire), Samit Patel (Nottinghamsire), Liam Plunkett (Durham), Adil Rashid (Yorkshire), Jonathan Trott (Warwickshire), Chris Woakes (Warwickshire), Luke Wright (Sussex).

Jardine’s verdict: Even if the England Lions approach this match in the right spirit only Bell (& perhaps Ambrose) have a realistic chance of being called up to the front side.

Ian Bell

An enigma or just not very good?

Ian Bell's hopes of returning to the England Test squad have apparently been boosted after he was named in the Lions team to play against the West Indies next week. So, is this a case of easing him back into the international fold or a final sip in the last chance saloon?

The diminutive Warwickshire batsman was finally dropped during the winter tour of the Caribbean after a string of unimpressive batting performances. Since his return to County Championship cricket he has responded with two centuries in two games. Does the brace of tons highlight his genuine quality or just underline the paucity of English county bowling attacks?

The county circuit has long been aware of Bell’s ability to grind out big scores, he is regarded as England’s best net batsmen and yet a huge question mark hangs over his ability to score big runs in difficult conditions for his country.

Jardine’s verdict: Two double tons against a spirited WIndies attack and he should be allowed to carry the drinks in the 1st test. However, if Vaughny manages to scrape a fifty between now and then he should get in ahead of the Bell”Meister”™ (Billy Cotton 1994).

Cry God for Harry? Barry? Larry? England and St George

Happy St George's Day (in a non racist, decidedly non-jingoistic way)!

Douglas Jardine

A bit about the namesake of this blog

...During the tour of Australia, for some reason Jardine appeared to develop an intense dislike for the country and its people. Australians claim that this was provoked by his own pretentious behaviour, as cricket fans took exception to his exclusive Harlequin cap and somewhat haughty attitude. It is recorded that during one tour match Australian player Hunter Hendry expressed his sympathies to Jardine for the jeers the crowd was giving him, and Jardine responded, "All Australians are uneducated, and an unruly mob."

Later, at the second Test in Sydney where the crowd was again hurling abuse at Jardine, fellow English cricketer Patsy Hendren observed that "They don't seem to like you very much over here, Mr Jardine." Jardine replied, "The feeling is fucking mutual"...

* This is not a view shared by The Jardine Report, except...

Welcome to the Jardine Report

The home of cricket facts, fiction, nonsense and above all the place where all right/left minded cricket lovers get the chance to stick it to the scourge of global cricket - the Aussies!

During the course of this summer follow Jardine as he uncovers the truth (as he sees it) about the game we love. With the IPL underway, Australia playing Pakistan in the UAE, Andy Flower at the England helm, the 20/20 World Cup and The Ashes to follow, there is so much to cover. So, with the covers off, the pitch rolled, the stumps in, the bowler's run up marked out, the batsmen have taken guard there is nothing more to say than - PLAY!