In the build up to the 4th Test, there has been an interesting number of discussions about the make-up of both teams and by the time this feature slides onto screens both should have been announced. England very kindly matched my selection but a strong rumour has it that Mitch Marsh has managed to retain the all-rounder slot ahead of Cameron Green. Come what may, the two elevens are only one part of the fixture.
The umpires of course will have their input, albeit in this day & age their influence is only felt after their competence has been questioned up to a maximum of 3 times each by both teams per innings. Our CCTV world has relegated the Umpires from arch decision makers to glorified ball-counting hat & coat stands, with their future involvement to be diminished further by AI in the coming years (welcome to the club)!
However, the fascinating difference could well be what happens in the stands, boxes and concourses of Old Trafford. The sanctimonious hysteria in the Australian Press, especially after the Lord’s episode has been quite something to behold. Patently none of them have ever seen or heard SCG members imparting their advice for overseas teams/supporters or sharing/showering their ghastly VB over incoming fielders. No surprise really given that the SMHacks are so far removed from ordinary fans these days.
Cricket crowds have undoubtedly changed and in particular Ashes crowds have risen to the apex of passion and ribaldry. The emergence of the travelling Barmy Army (way back in the last century) has given birth to a couple of copycat Aussie outfits, most notably the Fanatics and the Richie’s (who don’t seem to travel). The obligatory fancy dress has gone from quirky to zany and back and the admirable colour days (Pink Test, Red Test, Blue Test to name but three) are positively embraced by both sets of supporters.
In the early days of a more terrace-oriented participation the English support ruled the roost with a dazzling array of football adapted tunes and lyrics (well they still do, to be brutally honest), whereas the poor old Aussies only had (have?) two songs and they were pretty atrocious, namely; “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie Oi! Oi! Oi!” and the equally banal, “Come on Aussie, Come on, Come on. Come on Aussie, come on”.
The Barmy Army (both home and more crucially away) would openly laugh in the faces of the bemused Aussie fans and then respond with any number of reposts; “You’ve only got two songs”, “You only sing when you’re winning/drinking/batting/bowling” etc etc. To be fair they have added a rather lukewarm version of “Advance, Australia Fair” to their songbook and a lacklustre rendition of “Waltzing Matilda” occasionally sees the light of day but seriously… From the land of Nick Cave, Dave Graney, Robert Foster and Grant McLennan, you would expect better, much better. But they should be so lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky!
One of my favourite ever cricket fan experiences was in Adelaide at the beginning of the 2010-11 Tour. England were taking things a bit seriously and had arranged a couple of proper tour games, one of which was against a better than normal South Australian XI. I made my way down to the City of Churches (Aussie code for nothing happens in Adelaide) and headed to the ground. Play meandered on under an unrelenting sun and the arrival of lunch meant three things for travelling supporters. Find a pub, get some beer and write some new songs for the upcoming series.
An early suggestion was to co-opt the melody of the old Bahamian folk tune ‘Sloop John B.’ made famous by The Beach Boys and someone suggested singing something involving Andrew Strauss along the lines of “We wanna go home, give up Straussy, we wanna go home”. The tune was ok, but the rather negative message was poorly received, more drinks were ordered, thinking caps donned and a more aggressive approach was required. A pen was requisitioned and I remember writing the following words on the paper table cloth with 5 or 6 members of the Barmy Army in attendance… “He bowls to the left, He bowls to the right, that Mitchell Johnson…” There was a pause around the table.
When the final version was written down, we all looked at each other. Cricket songs, unlike football or indeed rugby songs rarely had profanities in them. We looked and sang again, ‘Shite’ isn’t too bad, is it? Certainly, better with the addition of the northern e at the end to make it sound a little more Liam Gallagher-y. No sooner had we all stopped laughing uncontrollably at our creation, the beer drenched, ink-stained paper tablecloth was folded up and whisked away to be sent to Barmy Army High Command for ratification, publication and circulation. (Surely, they’d edit out the swear word).
A few weeks later at the SCG, I had the joy of hearing those words echo round Moore Park as poor old Mitch came down the steps, walked to the middle, took guard, faced a delivery, tucked his bat back under his arm and trudged back from the middle and stomped back up the steps to the soundtrack of 10,000 recruits to the Barmy Army bellowing out ‘our’ song, replete with the additional E. At that moment we all knew just how big a part we had played in securing the Ashes. That song had been the soundtrack to the summer.
Modern players say that they can shut out the noise, they are in a bubble, they can’t hear a thing but I know different. We got inside Mitchell Johnson that day and yes, we paid for it 4 years later when he took his well-earned revenge but in that Aussie season we knew the power of being a unified crowd.
So, whilst on paper and man-for-man this Australian team (World Champions) should clobber this mixture of Joe Root, aging medium pacers, technically challenged and/or inexperienced batters and walking wounded that comprise the current England team (Reigning Olympic Champions!!). If the Old Trafford crowd can fire up early, we have a chance… Because
When I'm in the crowd, I don't see anything
My mind goes a blank, in the humid sunshine
When I'm in the crowd I don't see anything…
In the crowd – The Jam
Written by: PAUL JOHN WELLER
Lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Universal Music Publishing Group
Jack Nash
19/7/23
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