A guide to Australian Whine

The standard Aussie journo can’t go more than a couple of minutes without a wicket before they resort to their second favourite subject, attempting to bait England about the number of South Africans in the England side. (Their favourite subject of course is the mental frailties inherent in any Englishman).

So, I thought I’d do them all a favour and list the top 10 whines to save us all a bit of time. Then perhaps they can start to look at their own (rapidly self imploding) team.

Aussie Top 10 Whines
1) English mental frailty
– We suggest you investigate XXXX Johnson’s mental health before pursuing that line of attack

2) South African quota in England team
– All very different when Englishman Andrew Symonds was battering hundreds for the Baggy Greens.

3) Negative cricket
– Not unlike the Australian team bowling wide outside off stump prior to Siddle’s excellent hat-trick. Or looking back to a certain one-day game, bowling underarm (Architect being of course current Aussie selector Greg Cheatin' Chappell)

4) Poor technique
– See XXXX Johnson.

5) The food
– From a country that deep fries everything.

6) The weather
– Having been on the end of another soggy Sydney summer, we think not.

7) Pasty faced poms who can’t take the heat
– The lack of Australian support on the 5th day at TGGH demonstrates just who can’t take the heat.

8) Dress sense
– Oh do behave, style tips from the thongs, boardies and vest brigade.

9) Warm beer
– A fair point but at least our beer has alcohol in it!

10) Whingeing Poms
– Again such an observation belies the fact that Australians are the most balanced people on the planet, as they’ve got a chip on both shoulders!