Hackwatch #3

In light of the mauling Australia received at the hands of the English batsmen, it only seems appropriate to review the mauling they received in the various morning papers.

"Australia have been cooked and served up for supper", is how Peter Roebuck of the Sydney Morning Herald assessed events at The Gabba, where the tourists, inspired by Alastair Cook's 235 not out, put on 517 for one before declaring in their second innings and snuffing out any hope the hosts had of landing an opening series victory. "Their bowlers have been taken apart by an opponent that usually departs from Brisbane in a state of shock.

"Records were broken and the score rattled along till the head was spinning, a trait that eluded the local tweakers. With the terrible logic of sporting supremacy, 300 became 400 and then 500 and still no sign of a wicket."
Roebuck added: "The Barmy Army roared its approval and the locals were stunned into silence. It had been a long time since any Australian outfit, let alone its cricket team, was treated with such disdain by any opponent, let alone a bunch of Poms"

Greg Baum in the The Age was equally frustrated by Australia's failure to secure a victory having built a first-innings lead of 221. He wrote: "Rarely can roosters so quickly have become feather dusters. Here, shudder to think it, is England's future, and Australia's.
"Australia's bowling lacked not just bite, but teeth and gums."

The Sydney Daily Telegraph felt the result was a portent for things to come in this series as well as a true reflection of how Australia have slid from their undisputed status as the world's No1 team: "Australian players scoffed when they were told earlier this year they were the fifth-ranked Test side in the world following their 2-0 series defeat to India. Maybe it's closer to the truth than they care to believe.
"Their success on the first three days at The Gabba lured us into a false sense of hope. When Jonathan Trott leapt into the air after scoring the third century of the innings and you glanced at the scoreboard and saw the figures of 1-442, it was difficult not to think of the fresh hell that threatens to come."

Looking ahead to the second Test, which begins in Adelaide on Friday, The Herald Sun asks if it's time for Australia to "ditch Mitchell Johnson for 'wonky' Ryan Harris?"
"Johnson finished with match figures of 0-170 at the Gabba, the first time in 39 Tests he has gone wicketless, as England declared at 1-517 and the first Test petered out to a draw," the Melbourne-based paper went on to report.


The Jardine Report: Whilst it might be amusing to see the Aussie hacks pounding their own team into the dirt (and it is), it'll only take a good session for them to revert to the Pom-hating, Pom-baiting, standard Xenophobic drivel they've been dishing out for years. You have been warned!